Workout from HELL had me asking some tough questions

Now that's the way to start the week. A LEG workout with Paul Anthony Neil (www.dreambodyguaranteed.com). Holy crap! That workout from hell had me asking some tough questions of myself. The first one was ... why the hell am I doing this? The next question ... can I really do this? Let me tell you I had to dig deep ... but by the end I couldn't dig deep enough. I was so dead at the end of the workout my ears were thumping. I almost felt like I wanted to be sick. And as I walked back to my car I felt like everyone was watching me because I felt like I was walking funny. I couldn't get to the car fast enough. It was like when you're trying to run in a dream and you just can't run fast enough or you keep tripping or falling ... that's what it felt like walking to the parking lot. I was DONE! But before I let those negative thoughts consume me (I can't do this ... I've lost my strength and will never get it back ... I'm too old ... I don't have want it takes anymore ... who am I kidding?) I thought back to all those times when I struggled in the beginning. Like my first job as a TV reporter. All alone in Grande Prairie with an office, camera, and a phone ... and no experience. I remember crying in that office thinking I'd never get out of there ... I'd be working in small town Alberta as a VJ for the rest of my career.

Then there was that time when I was asked to be in a play ... The Vagina Monologues ... an opportunity I didn't want to refuse because it was a fundraiser for a very worthy cause. But I had zero acting experience. I had to recite two "controversial" monologues off by heart ... with feeling ... I had to "act"! To add to the pressure, I was doing this alongside professional actresses (Cathy Jones of This Hour Has 22 Minutes) and playwrights. We even had an award winning executive director running things. Well I dug deep then and I got a standing ovation and a glowing review in the paper the next day.

I can think of many other incidents where I doubted my abilities in the beginning ... but persevered ... and in the end ... it was worth the struggle ... it helped me grow as a person ... and my confidence went though the roof. So here's to sucking it up ... working my butt off ... and rocking that leg work!