Can't Do This Alone ... Thank You

Preparing for this competition was more than just about sculpting a fit body. Getting ready to hit the stage was about taking control of my life ... celebrating my independence. Anyone who knows me well, knows I like to be Superwoman. But like I've said before, sometimes even Superwoman needs to take off her cape ... and ask for help. I can't do this alone. So for all of you who helped in your own way during this journey ... THANK YOU. I'm going to highlight a few people below and I know I'll miss a few. Just know that I'm sending you ALL THANK YOU vibes through the Universe:

Paul Anthony Neil ... for kicking things off, giving me some great, funny material for my blog (killer bunnies and the dean of bootology to name a few)

The Unknown Trainer ... for allowing me to have cheat meals, believing in my abilities, helping me believe in myself and to think like a winner, forcing me to check out my body and pose in the gym, and teaching me lots about training (mind-muscle connection)

Lael Sauter ... for coming in at the last minute, and driving all the way from Edmonton with his family to support me

Maria Ellis ... as a fellow competitor knowing what I'm going through and checking up on me regularly

Sue Hopgood ... being there so that I could talk through my mini-dramas that had little to do with training and for being my BM Therapist

Dustin Fox ... reminding me to swagger

Heather Yourex ... the only person at work who REALLY gets it, and an inspiring young lady

Leslie Horton ... Recognizing when I'm stressed at work and accepting it.

Countless FB friends, some I've never even met ... Supportive comments, encouragement, positive vibes when I needed them and accepting the odd day I was down

Nkechi Odina-Seale ... inviting me to Easter dinner and not giving me a hard time for bringing my own food, and reminding me that I'm "AWESOME"

Kay Rose ... for insisting that I come to her birthday party even though I'd be surrounded by delicious food and tantalizing drinks (good thing I came ... there were other treats to be had anyway ... heeheehee!)

THANK YOU IS HARDLY ENOUGH TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE TO EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWED ME AND SUPPORTED ME ON THIS JOURNEY. BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET! THERE'S MORE TO COME! STAY TUNED!

Don't play small (Jacked up!)

If you've seen me in the last week or so, you may not be able to tell, but I'm really excited about competing this weekend. I'm kind of BLAH right now ... lethargic is the best word to describe how I'm feeling. Not sure if that lead to my feelings of doubt and insecurity yesterday. I was questioning whether I was ready ... whether I had what it takes to come out on top (because I want nothing less) ... whether I was expecting too much of myself. Who do I think I am ... thinking I can win my PRO card? So as I made my way to the gym yesterday, I was surrounded by a cold cloud of doubt. Then I got an amazing compliment that snapped me out of my phase of feeling sorry for myself. I ran into someone who works in the fitness industry who I truly admire. She's a pro fitness model and trainer .. and in my eyes always looks amazing! She gave me the biggest boost of confidence. She told me she saw me from behind and said "Wow she's jacked up!". She said I looked "healthy with nice full muscles". Best compliment ever! Pumped me up for the rest of the day!
So that reminded me of that speech from Nelson Mandela that tells us not to play small. Who am I not to go for my PRO card?! I will continue to visualize my victory!

Please, take the time to read (below) what Nelson Mandela said back in 1994 during his Presidential Inaugural Speech.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

--Nelson Mandela, 1994 South African Presidential Inaugural Speech, quoting spiritual leader Marianne Williamson of the Church of Today in Detroit.

Checkin' out my competition

I'm freakin' out! Less than 2 weeks before my competition. I can't believe it! And I even got to check out my competition. Well ... some of it anyway. I MC'd a bodybuilding and figure show this past weekend. And a few ladies from that show will compete in the IDFA show. And yes I was checking out the figure ladies. Even though I wasn't tanned and shiny like they were, I still compared myself to them. Is that bad? Not at all. Because that's exactly what's going to happen when I get on stage. I'll be compared to several other ladies who have worked their butts off (some literally, heehee!) to be there. So what did I see at this show? I saw sexy shoulders. Glanced at gorgeous gams. And eye-balled awesome abs. So how did I compare? Well let's just say I'm ready ... but what really matters is how I look in front of the judges on May 2! Training like a champ and visualizing my victory!

Enjoy the journey!

One of my "motivating mantras" is NO EXCUSES ... but sorry ... I'm going to start with one. I'm so sorry for taking so long to write another blog, but I've been busy/tired/exhausted. You see I'm in the final stretch of training for my figure competition ... 3 weeks and 2 days to be exact. And there's no room for cutting corners/cheating/slacking off. Weights ... and lots o' cardio! It's balls to the wall! (I know that's a guy saying and kind of gross ... but I like it!). But last week I had to remind myself of something. I had to remind myself to enjoy the journey. You see, during my entire contest prep I was so focus on just working out ... I was living in the now ... loving the journey! Throughout the day, in my head I would go over what body parts I was going to work that day. Then figure out what gym I was going to meet the Unknown Trainer. And as soon as work was over I was off to the gym ... excited to train! Every week there was progress ... and that got me pumped! And there was always lots of time to get ready for the show. Well, when the 4-week mark came along, I started to get a little anxious/nervous/freaking out. You see the Unknown Trainer has very high expectations of me. Plus, I'm very hard on myself. So that combination made me start to panic about whether I'd be ready ... whether I'd be able to live up to the expectations ... mine and the Unknown Trainer's. It doesn't help that my last year of competing was horrible. I wasn't ready and shouldn't have competed at all ... but everything happens for a reason. Anyway, it was at Easter Sunday dinner that got me back on track. A friend invited me to have dinner with her and her family ... I said yes but I told her I was bringing my own food. She was cool with that. So of course discussion about what I eat during contest prep came up. And of course everyone says the same thing "I couldn't do what you do. The diet would be the hardest part". Then my friend said "But you actually LIKE working out though." And I said "YES! Yes I do!". I realized that working out is my stress relief, my meditation ... it brings me joy! It brings me happiness! At that moment, It was like a light went on ... a light that reminded me to ENJOY THE JOURNEY!