IT WAS MORE THAN AN ASS-KICKING. IT WAS AN AWAKENING!

The first day working out with a new trainer always makes me nervous. I’m always fearing an ass-kicking. I got one ... a thorough one. But  I got more this time. My journey to become fiercely fit started today ... and it was a bit of an awakening.  

My trainer, Paul Anthony Neil (3 names ... so you know he means business)  is full of positive energy. He’s very encouraging in his own unique and very refreshing way. And I appreciate that ... as I’m sweating and grunting and on the verge of purging all those clean meals I ate earlier in the day. Days before my first workout with Paul I was filled with self-doubt. I couldn’t stop feeling scared ... like I couldn’t do it ... like I couldn’t reach my goals. Can I really do this? Am I past my prime? Can I really get that ripped body back that I had at my best figure show in 2007? I couldn’t believe how progressively negative I was getting as I got closer to day one!!

So as I drove to the gym today ... I had butterflies (whatever ... I’ve worked out with several trainers, why am I so nervous) ... and even worse, too many negative thoughts in my head. Sigh. I did my best to put them aside as I went through each exercise.  1, 2, 3 ... oh I’m so out of shape ... 4, 5, 6 ... can anyone see my bulging belly ... 7, 8, 9 ... my abs are so weak ... 10, 11, 12 ... how did I let myself go! Then the pain took over and I had to concentrate on breathing. But I finished the workout .. without passing out or puking ... however there was nausea and my left ear was ringing ... ha!

The awakening happened when the intense workout was done. Paul took me through a meditation session for about 10 minutes. I focused on positive words and clearing my mind of the multitude of negative thoughts ... and creating space for me to “just be”.  And you know what ... that’s all I need to do ... in the gym ... and beyond ... just be! 

I felt light and positive as I left the gym. When I was about half a block away from my car and I saw a ticket flapping in the breeze on my windshield. Negative thought ... “why did you park there?!” And then I saw another car being towed away ... my positive thought ... “Whoa! At least I wasn’t towed!”